Tomorrow is the big day

 It has been a hard decision to convince myself that I can be patient. Mostly because I cannot. I try but mostly I am trying. Today I baked bread because we were out of bread and as I have said in the past, I can bake it faster than I can drive to town and buy it. I called my "cousin", and we talked as I baked. Three loaves of bread and an exchange of recipes we ended the call, and I sent pictures of the finished loaves.

Yummy!!

Sandwich bread and cinnamon raisin

They smell so good!! 

they may not be purdy, but they are tasty!  

You might think this is a stance to try to be grounded and happy in my space, you would be correct. I need to do the things that are part of me. Baking, sewing and crocheting are things I enjoyed in my life. Other things are there too. I miss working, being on call, being a soldier... weird that I would miss that, but I do.

This evening the dogs started picking on the youngest dog, I got mad and yelled at them and made them all go outside, except the baby. They are now remorseful or at least I think they are. I am going to have to send the little dog to a new home. The girl dogs accept her, but the two boy dogs are very resentful and seem to attack her for no reason. She is just a baby at 4 months old but is almost as big as the girl big dog. The boy big dog is the most resentful.

I took DH to get his lottery tickets and he asked me if I thought he would get to drive again. I feel bad for him, but I would feel worse if he hurt someone. I wanted to say would it be so bad if you don't, but I didn't. I guess deep down I do not enjoy confrontation. Tomorrow is the day that we see the results of his testing and I know he is nervous.  There is a lot of "I's" in this paragraph. I am nervous also. I really don't think he should drive, at least no further than a local store, even then I worry about his lack of focus and his hyper-focusing. Both yield the same results.

I did buy GPS tracking devices to put on the vehicles that we use. They are not installed but I did buy them. Also, small devices to put in the kids backpacks or coat pockets. I will not let them ride with him anytime soon if ever, but I bought the devices anyway.

Good night blog