Robin's Nest

  Yesterday after feeling as though I have failed at keeping SIL safe and well... safe. Happiness cannot be forced on someone. It was my goal to keep her happy too. That goal eludes me. But I digress.  I placed many calls to different agencies and care centers to get prices and options for care. I spoke to someone at the resource exchange and prospects were dim.  By the time I returned from picking up the kids at school I was a hot mess. I told DH that I needed to get away, the reply was, you just did. He had no idea that I had been researching what the next step might be. Nor did he know I had just blown up angry at my 11-year-old who was acting 16 and snotty. Stress. It all boils down to that. I am not making excuses my reactions are not acceptable. I did tell DH that I needed to have a break that did not involve taking care of others for example grandkids, or whiney kids after school... It did not fall on deaf ears but the reply was not the answer either. Any way ...

  Another long night followed by a day of rest and restlessness. SIL wants to go home to Montana to visit. She is of the mind that it will help with all the confusion she is experiencing. Her niece, who was her caregiver before the break with reality, is willing to have her visit. My only concern is for her return. Will she cooperate? Probably not. I think we will cross that bridge when it comes. The bridge collapsed before dinner was served. It is what it is. I think it would be good if it were a short trip. No bother it is off for the time being. Today was the most alert I have seen her, well during the evening hours anyway. I wonder what the night will bring... It was another all-nighter. She is having the hardest time with sleep it eludes her all night. Perhaps she will sleep the day away and then again most likely not. The trouble with most of this is that I feel I have failed her. I cannot say how or why but there is empty silence between. Yet each day her bag sits packed and...

How long can you continue? I have no answer for that. Nor can I explain why a toddler uses the doggy door, other than it is there. Today is the last Saturday of the kids' Fall break. I am not sure where the time went but it is gone. Some days I feel as though I am missing out more being home than I was working. Buyer's remorse I suppose or perhaps a feeling of hopelessness when I cannot get through to SIL. She is deep in the dementia cycle. Suspicion rules her days.  Sleeplessness, her nights.  Enough muddling, today the kids and I went to a store that they have been waiting to explore. They had a grand time! It did us all some good to get out and relax even when shopping is not relaxing to me. It is time to get on with whatever it is I am to do for the rest of this year. The youngest bought some putty and tried her hand at making flowers... Not bad for her first attempt! I think she found quite a bit of pleasure in the making of these. The Slime in the package did not wo...

  After an exhausting trip to the Neurologist and implementing the changes that were agreed upon, we experienced an "all nighter". Literally, Kim voiced several times throughout the day that she didn't like any of the changes that were made. Her delusional state and inability to stay in bed or her recliner made for a very long night, for both of us. She has had sleep attacks after every dose of meds since arriving. It has been a roller coaster ride since! The mistrust that has developed and the delusions that go with it are a force to be reckoned. Tonight, is almost one week since the roller coaster ride began. I am tired I am so blessed that the kids were happy with a quick trip to Walmart and Dollar Tree for outings on their break. They received a gift card to spend at the store and that made their day! They were just happy to get out with just me and do a little shopping. Things have been a little one-sided until Saturday night then the reinforcement fell asleep on the...

I thought my days were fairly boring a few months back... not so much anymore.   I still don't get anything done but for different reasons now. Once I longed to be home 24/7. Of course that had a dream of productivity attached to it, but I digress. These days I am caring for my sister in law full time and it has its' rewards and its' challenges. Last night the challenge was keeping her safe. She was up and down doing this and that, nothing out of the ordinary so I dozed off and tried not to worry. I then heard her muffled voice calling out. Upon entering the room I found her in a somewhat similar position albeit face down and more under the bed.  After trying to get her up sans assistance the strategic positioning of some pillows allowed me to roll her over and let the sleeping continue. I reasoned with 6 falls in 2 days, the floor was safer than the bed. I am sure she did not fall this time. There were too many things rearranged that indicated she may have been reaching fo...

This past week has been an "Off" week for my SIL. That means basically we stayed home and "managed" symptoms. During an "Off" swing she is not able to do much safely. That includes walking, toileting or eating. The risk of falling increases greatly, choking and incontinence become the norm for a time. Also, hallucinations or delusions rule the world during this time. Likewise, when she is "On" things go incredibly smooth. Sure there is still a little dementia that seeps through, but every day tasks are completed with little fuss. Today was another day where things started to go back to the "new normal". Perhaps this week will be smooth sailing. Even with the setbacks this week baking got done. Warm fresh bread has no comparison! I even tried my hand at English muffins Things got delayed when SIL woke up so a few are a bit well done!  Baking was a great distraction when SIL was in "Off" mode and the baby was in the hospital. Ba...

Things have been a bit crazy around here for the past month. Too many things have happened that cannot be covered in one post. Just about the time I think things are settling down and a routine is on the horizon I am quickly put into a tailspin. With that being said this blog gets more attention than the rest of my endeavors. The baby has been in the hospital for a couple of days now so I technically have had days off. But not really as I have had her older sister in exchange since mommy must stay with the baby and daddy still has to work.   We have worked on baking, organizing pill time and tried to work on sleep hygiene. Not really doing the best on that, but trying real hard. I attempted making English muffins and they weren't too bad! It seems SIL really likes the ones that are sold in town at the fast food place but her SIL doesn't like to drive 25 miles for breakfast food. Her SIL also can't seem to remember to buy English muffins at the store.  So that is how we ca...