Could it get any crazier?

 Yesterday after feeling as though I have failed at keeping SIL safe and well... safe. Happiness cannot be forced on someone. It was my goal to keep her happy too. That goal eludes me. But I digress.  I placed many calls to different agencies and care centers to get prices and options for care. I spoke to someone at the resource exchange and prospects were dim. 

By the time I returned from picking up the kids at school I was a hot mess. I told DH that I needed to get away, the reply was, you just did. He had no idea that I had been researching what the next step might be. Nor did he know I had just blown up angry at my 11-year-old who was acting 16 and snotty. Stress. It all boils down to that.

I am not making excuses my reactions are not acceptable. I did tell DH that I needed to have a break that did not involve taking care of others for example grandkids, or whiney kids after school... It did not fall on deaf ears but the reply was not the answer either. Any way you look at it we need a plan B. A care center is a necessary evil if I cannot find in home help.

Another active night for her was a restless night for me. Not completely without sleep but lots of interruptions. In the early morning I realized we were late for the day and as I groggily headed to the kitchen, I was stopped by SIL.  She apologized for her "bratty" behavior (her words) and gave me a hug. As I returned the hug, I said I didn't think she was bratty but that I was stressed.  Her demeanor was normal, she was not or at least did not appear to be in the realm of dementia. 

I was taken aback and as I stood there, I noticed she had unpacked her bag. I stated as much and asked, does this mean you are staying? She replied yes if you will still have me. Our day began and stayed in that manner... a very nice change.

She now sleeps the afternoon away in an orange juice induced trance... well it's okay we will figure it out... eventually