More adventures of the lazy and the demented

 Every day brings new challenges. Especially if I think I have it all under control. This week brought my oldest granddaughter joining the Air Force. She did tell me she was going to do it. I did encourage it. But others were told that she was leaving for college. So gullible me thought it was still college. Looking back many, many years I realized everyone else except her parents and me, were acting like my mother when I announced I was going to follow my then boyfriend into the service. Negativity with all capital letters, you are too weak, you will never succeed, you cannot handle it, and so on. In retrospect I am honored that she trusted me enough to confide in me. As I type this, I watch someone who is much too old to eat kernels of corn with her fingers do just that. Shower will happen after dinner, as it is a messy one tonight and a shower is needed regardless.

Dementia is something I thought I understood fairly well, that is until it moved in. I try to celebrate the little wins when I get them, it's the challenges that tend to get me down. Like having to wipe hands and face and then have her tell me she wants to go to the store to buy something, but she cannot tell me what she wants to buy. Or giving her a cloth napkin that she is sure is not for wiping her hands or face, it must be a hat.

I am on call 24/7 for each and every person in this household. I have decided that rather than have the neighbor come and help while I have surgery, I am going to place SIL back into care. Yesterday, I finally found a place that will allow her to transition to Medicaid if her funds run out or something happens to me that causes her to stay longer than planned and the funds run low. This is, of course only if we do not move, and since someone agrees to let me have to the home, I think I want and then reneges the very next day or even the same day. (dementia might be spreading) I say this because he denies that he ever agreed to the house I like.

I have put my foot down and stated we will not move to a house that I do not prefer. So, that takes us back to a care facility that can take care of SIL for the long haul.

It even has grass and bunnies! I was disappointed that there were no activities going on when I arrived, but it was quiet and safe, and the room was not nearly as small as I had recalled. It is close to a place that I worked at for nine years. The ability to transition if needed was a definite plus. Another plus is that it is on this side of the freeway. A lot closer than the other two places that she has been in.

The guilt of sending her to a home is enormous. It is not for everyone as I type this, she is less than 4 inches from me. Most of the time I can handle that type of intrusion. Today it is harder as I know that soon I must place her for her safety so that I can have surgery again. Without the surgery I cannot lift her when she falls and she does fall, often. Today I left her with her brother, and she tipped her chair over and fell.

Every day is an adventure for sure. Today I left the deposit for her care at the facility. Hopefully on Tuesday I will know when she will have to be moved in. Or maybe I should phrase that when she will be able to move in.  My daughter came to stay with her while we went to an appointment this afternoon. It shows this evening. Any time I am not her focus, she digresses. It makes for a long might of nothing getting done that needs to be done. Add a kid with eating challenges to the mix and I can be exhausted before dinner is on the table. 

So, goodnight blog.