Robin's Nest

 Oh where, oh where, can my ID be? I just had the thing one week ago in order to pick something up at the base. For the life of me I cannot find it now. I had been being really good about putting things where they belong, but not this time. This caused me to cancel an appointment as it is needed to access the base. I don't mind rescheduling, but I am frustrated that this item is missing. While I hope to find it as I organize things for company, I may not. That means making an appointment to get another one. This morning involves taking the older kiddo to the orthodontist to fix a wire. Today is cleaning the entry living room or whatever you call this incredibly small room. It should not take very long. The laundry room is after that. Also, an incredibly small room, packed with everything that just gets set down by others and then abandoned. Three days and a wake-up until company is due to arrive. We spent an hour at the orthodontist office, walked to the grocery store so that my da...

 It might really happen! This is the last full week before my mom is supposed to come and visit. Many times, over the years she has said she wants to come visit. I think this might be the year she actually shows up. Her Aunt is 102 and she has promised to come visit again for about 12 years. Of course, before that she had planned to come out to the old house. That never happened, thankfully. It was much too big to get organized in just a week! That house was much bigger than the current house. As everything it was a work in progress. This little house is also "in progress". The list to complete by Sunday grows by the hour. DH is working on the porch railing! Yay!! He started to place the railing last summer and got about halfway. So today, he only has half the walkway and the whole porch to be done. The kids plan on taking their fifth wheel and leaving for Oklahoma on Thursday. This will mean that they will not be here when their grandparents arrive. Today they are working on...

 Sleeping in! I slept in until 0550! The dogs started whining so I got up and let them out and began my day. After the doggy's go out, I go and release all the barnyard birds or make coffee. Whichever one I do first, the other follows almost immediately. This morning was ripe for a good solid breakfast I got started with hashbrowns and bacon, eggs and coffee. Next make the meal plan for the week and a grocery list. I could be off to the stores in two hours or so. Heading out I, of course left an ID that I needed at home. That caused me to be able to go to only one place instead of the two I had planned to go to. I don't normally hit the regular grocery stores on Saturday and even less so if I forget my cooler. It was hot and although I had my cooler the items that I picked up at the first store left no room for a side trip anyway. I planned to take SIL out for an ice cream or for dinner at a fast-food place, but after returning from the store there were other pressing items to ...

 The other night when I took SIL out for a bit, the conversation turned to safety as it often does, she stated she did not understand why she cannot just come and go as she wants. I went over all the reasons again, much like every time she asks. She then reached into a cup holder of the car and picked up my name tag from one of my workplaces. It was one from a nursing home. I asked if she understood the difference between a nursing home and an assisted living. She said she did. She asked me which I thought was better. I explained that I thought while they both had good points, I felt nursing homes provided a better value and environment for the money. She was quiet. Much like the "safety talk" quiet. ALs are a hotbed for depression. You are left alone to entertain yourself. You may get invited to activities, but you are not "in your face" encouraged to go. If you refuse, they will not bug you. In the NH setting not only will they bug you, but multiple people will al...

 No. You cannot. Every decision in life should be that simple these days. Alas, they are not. Yesterday blew my theory on falls. I did not go to visit Monday, nor put SIL to bed. She did not fall or have any issues during the night. She did, however, have a meltdown before 4pm the next day. I had intended to go and put her to bed and visit a bit beforehand, but I was not quick enough. She had enough, she was leaving, they called frantically, they could not seem to divert her from trying to get out the front door. They called from a number that I did not recognize, and I was genuinely doing other things. I feel they are not well equipped to handle her behaviors. On that note, I have been looking into other places. She and I went for a ride when I got there. I was hesitant to be sure. Before we left the building, I let her know she would be returning. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. She was determined that she would talk me into not bringing her back, she said those words. While driv...

 I have decided my approach to visiting will be try every other day instead of everyday. It seems that every day invokes a desire to leave on my arrival. So, with every other day visits I will include one of those visits to be out of the facility, once a week that is. Necessities will be purchased and delivered without her company. Outings will be to go get an ice cream, or doctor visits, or special occasions. It stinks that it has to be this way. I cannot even say that if we had a bigger house or a separate house on the property if it would be better, because I don't have that.  It is true we have the little mobile home that we thought was an answer to prayer, and maybe it still is. The hurdles that have to be overcome to have it be a "home" again are going to take time. Leaving her in the apartment she is in has me torn. I feel she isn't getting the attention she needs to have. Even when I worked in assisted living, I thought it was not a good thing for anyone, at l...

 Today I tried a new approach to the "SIL" situation. I thought at first, I would take her shopping and then I thought better of the idea and decided to pick up what I could remember from her list and just give her a 30-minute warning that I needed to leave to go to work. It seemed in my little pea-sized brain that she would get the concept that I needed to go to work, and she might understand that she could not go to my work. We unpacked her groceries and I put the things that she decided were no longer good to eat into a bag to take to the chickens. I then called a friend of hers for her to talk to since the friend had called several times this week. I noted that she could not carry on a conversation without being prompted with what the correct response to a question would be. The person who called had recently lost her husband and although SIL had been told of the loss it has not registered. Her friend asked mostly yes/no questions and that went okay. When left to respond ...

 New routines are not usually dementia friendly. In fact, if you want to see dementia show up "unexpectedly", change a person's routine or better yet, rearrange a room on them. For example, move the pantry. Of course, I am just playing about moving the pantry, most folks cannot do that. Can you imagine the distress that could cause? I can. This past holiday, I did that theoretically. On the morning of the fourth I changed up the routine for DH, yes on purpose, no not to cause trouble. We had planned to barbecue and have SIL over for the day as this is her favorite holiday Attachments on top right corner shelf . There were a few last-minute things that I needed to get, and I thought it best if I went instead of sending DH. I gave him the news when he woke up. Disappointment registered on his face very quickly. I did explain that this would allow him time to grind the meat that he wanted to grind, and I could get exactly what I needed without him having to guess what my des...

 July must be an Alligator. SIL is so far off center and out of this reality that we can hardly go anywhere. The last two days the plan was to pick her up and go shopping, that has been an effort in futility. Multiple things have contributed to this state of mind. First her wedding anniversary was last month, Fourth of July is her favorite holiday, and her late husband's birthday is coming up. Having the type of dementia, she has is not helping either. We continue on trying to glean what we can from each day, Sometimes, we have a logical concise conversation and sometimes we talk about how she had lunch with so and so. So and so are usually both dead, but it is awfully nice that they came to visit and have lunch with her. 4th of July lunch They even showed up to enjoy lunch with us for the holiday. I think it was rather rude of them to use "cloaking" devices and not appear to all of us. Perhaps someday I will see them too. Not too soon though.  We continued with the day a...