Robin's Nest

 It is the beginning of week 44 and I have high hopes of getting SIL placed and the house getting into a new order. Again, these are high hopes. Not sure what will actually get done. I did get the laundry room sink cleaned out. This is nice to have but it seems to fill with odds and ends that don't have a home until you can no longer fit anything into the sink. Then it gets emptied only to start all over again. It is the end of the day, and everyone is just about settled down for the night. I have been able to do a couple loads of laundry, gone to town to pick up a kiddo and visited a couple of stores on the way. I was happy to find a gallon of heavy whipping cream for $20.19. When Costco has it, it is only a half-gallon, it is ultra-pasteurized, and roughly $12. To me this was a bargain! And it was not ultra-pasteurized. Double bonus in my book! Buying a gallon is not the best size for me but I can make it work and not waste any of it. Now some people may not find that an exciting...

 After not being able to walk into the laundry room yet again, for the stuff that gets "dropped" here, I decided it was time to clean it up a bit. I didn't get a whole lot done as I have a long list of items to accomplish. One item for sure is that I have to let the first-choice facility know that we are going a different direction in the future. It is now Sunday, and I am no more ready to move her than before. I know it must be done and that the less expensive place needs to be our choice financially, but I dread that it is 10 miles further away.  Back to the laundry room, it is still an overwhelming mess, and here it is Friday and almost the beginning of the 44th week in this year's countdown. You know that is harder to keep track of than I thought. The week has been super busy. We have company from Michigan here and the weather has been less than great. The wind is relentless on some days and the cold is just as bad. The change in people and dogs in the house has h...

 Here it is Friday, one week and one day from the day we toured and agreed on the apartment at Springs Ranch, and we are not much closer to move in than we were that day. This morning we are going to have a PPD read at Primary care. Since then, I have been contacted by a few more agencies that have offered lower prices and equal services. The ruling factor for Springs Ranch is that they have nurses and CNA's not QMaps and caregivers. That is not to say that perhaps they are not as good, but it has been my experience that in fact they are not as well trained. SIL and her idea of packing to leave In this state, you cannot really make a formal complaint against a QMap, they are not licensed. A caregiver is the same situation. All complaints would go against the nurse they work under. In theory this should be enough to keep people trained. It is not. I have decided though since we are going out anyway, we might look at another place just so she can see how much better the one we chose ...

 Things are changing around here. I have a full plate and then some every day. Wake up and smell the coffee I am told by one who has been absent for almost 10 years. You are too selfish to be the one. I trusted you to put her first and this is how you act?! There are many who know the truth! You are a felon!  You are a liar! You do not care! I am told these things and my heart breaks for the speaker. My advisor says remain quiet. I do as I am told. One day when I have a moment or three, I will print all the accusations and not have them front and center in my world. For now, I share them with the advisor. Somewhere in the middle of all that chaos life with SIL mixes in and the family returns from church. I cannot share what is going on with them at this time. I may not share it for years. Nonetheless it goes on. It is almost enough to make me want caller ID, almost. I do not have that luxury because well frankly I don't care to know who is calling. If I can and want to answer ...

 This has been a busy week so far. I looked at two more places for SIL, struggled with even placing her somewhere, and recruited my DIL to come stay with me for a month while I get everything in order. Having her here would help, I think anyway. DH disagrees, what's new? He is under the impression that you decide on placement, pick a place and move her in, done. I tried to explain that it does not happen that quickly and there are tons of forms to fill out and things that have to be done and doctors' orders to get. Most of all the POA must cooperate! Or be replaced. I am about ready to put DH out in the cold snow this morning! His sense of responsibility to his sister is not good.  "Good!! I hope she got cold" was his response. I don't get that for sure. Doesn't even seem to bother him. I cannot fathom treating anyone that way. Well, on with the day. SIL is up again for the day, I am sure.  The weirdest questions are being asked of me in relation to this event...

 Sometime before 0115 SIL made it out the sliding glass door. The door has never functioned correctly as far as shutting tight enough to lock and it wouldn't matter anyway, she can open almost any lock in her current state of mind. Yesterday while I babysat the youngest grandchild, she was very "antsy", I felt like something was brewing. There were moments of clarity for her, but not lucidity. This happens every time we go out of the house. The night progressed much as any other night, sundowners, minimal food eaten at dinner, panic over the pills being taken wrong, the usual things that happen each night. I put the dogs into the kennels and SIL into bed and went to get ready for bed myself. Once ready for bed I looked at DH and said I feel abandoned when you are here and yet you are not. He didn't understand. I didn't explain. After saying goodnight, I mentioned that I had a feeling that I would be awoken in a couple of hours. He said Well, you better get some sl...

I am so torn about putting SIL into a care center. Funding is not a huge issue. Guilt is. Some days I am so ready to go back to work and others like today when it starts at 0215, I am not. I visited a center yesterday that I have applied to several times. They had never even called to say no thank you, but I digress, curiosity got the best of me, and I called to get pricing. I was sitting in the driveway and there was a sign on the door that stated you must show proof of vaccination to enter, so I called hoping at best to get a price list. They invited me in. It was like fishing, hook line and sinker, they had a check for $3000.00 and I left with a job application. They stuck it into the welcome folder and promised they would consider me for a position when I was ready. They spoke to me the way I speak to SIL, with a soft voice and a sincere air of caring in their voice. So here is my dilemma. SIL should live to 80+, I am not sure how long her funding will last. I wish I could just be ...