To place or not to place...

I am so torn about putting SIL into a care center. Funding is not a huge issue. Guilt is. Some days I am so ready to go back to work and others like today when it starts at 0215, I am not. I visited a center yesterday that I have applied to several times. They had never even called to say no thank you, but I digress, curiosity got the best of me, and I called to get pricing. I was sitting in the driveway and there was a sign on the door that stated you must show proof of vaccination to enter, so I called hoping at best to get a price list.

They invited me in. It was like fishing, hook line and sinker, they had a check for $3000.00 and I left with a job application. They stuck it into the welcome folder and promised they would consider me for a position when I was ready. They spoke to me the way I speak to SIL, with a soft voice and a sincere air of caring in their voice.

So here is my dilemma. SIL should live to 80+, I am not sure how long her funding will last. I wish I could just be paid by another organization to care for her and have help. Oh! And a real day off. Placement in a facility, although expensive, will provide that. I told her this morning we are going to go look at the place she will stay for a while. She smiled and seemed good with that idea. Then I helped her back to bed.

Now back to the reason for the dilemma. The first facility is a dedicated memory care. It is set up well and provides very small rooms. Small rooms are good; they reduce isolation. The rooms are smaller than the room she has here. There were plenty of activities and it seemed staffing was good. Pricing was on the high side it was also a la carte. But they did not use nurses or CNA's. They allow you to use any pharmacy of choice. You do have to provide all the furniture, linens, and all the normal stuff.

The second facility again used Qmaps and caregivers not nurses. This place was an Assisted Living, not a memory care. It is changing to memory care only. the rooms were wonderful and included a kitchenette and a full bath. They do not allow pharmacy of choice; they use the WORST pharmacy in town. They do not allow outside providers, PRN medications. I would have to drive 25 miles to give her a Tylenol if she needed one. I really liked the staff and other residents that I met.  I returned home excited and looking forward to taking SIL to see the room. The next day the nurse came out to assess her. That seemed to go well. As the progressed and she diminished, I started to rethink the large room, and the lack of nurses.

Along comes Wednesday, and when it was time to drop the baby off to her dad, I remembered a place that I had applied to several times. Now move back to the first paragraph and read how this went.

Today is now Thursday 2339 and I had been sleeping soundly until SIL smelled smoke and saw flames. I ignored her for an hour but by 2230 she was raising her voice and knocking on doors instead of tapping. In an effort to save having the whole house up I volunteered to answer her and get up. It was then I realized I have an appointment to have internet installed in the am. I have had a full week to find the router and failed to do so. When she sat back in her chair, I told her I had to go look for something and I headed to the basement.

I was down there about half an hour, and I did not locate the router. It may be in my room. I locked that door after I got up as she was needing to wake DH. I will probably call and cancel the appointment early in the morning. She has gone back to her room so I will also. Update it is 0500 and I found the router, but not the power cord. Still going to have to cancel. I do not know how I manage to not put things together. It is a bad habit.

writing a rescue me from the crazy gramma letter

I am about ready to separate these big dogs and forget where I put them! Today alone, the baby set down four different toys all of them newer than Christmas, and they chewed up EVERY. ONE. OF. THEM!!! In front of SIL, who is very animal friendly, I told both dogs I am tired of them, and they are gone as soon as I find a way. That, my friend, can be elder abuse! Most people's first thought is how long were they on the floor. I don't know but it is still ridiculous in my opinion. She is upset because she is still in the bathroom.

Well, I am going to take a much needed 30-minute nap and hope no one wakes me in 30 minutes