Never take anger to bed...

This work day started like any other in my life lately. I got up made the kids breakfast, folded a load of laundry, placed another in the dryer.  Gathered up what I felt I needed for the day and gave the girls their worksheets for the day asked DH to please help them with the tasks. As I headed into the job that I just fought for last week after seeing it posted online, I wondered why I did that. Was it because I really want the job, was it because I was not too happy to see it was posted and I am in the position already? Perhaps I just like a good challenge and fighting to keep the position I am in seemed the right thing to do at the time. I do know I care about these people and there has been so much change in the last 10 months I really don't know how they would react.

As I drove towards town part of me felt uneasy, not up to the task of defending my ground. After all it was ground I really didn't mind the idea of giving up two months ago. The feeling was just not going away all that easy. When I got to my desk and put stuff down I confided to mu coworker that I intended to be out of this position by June 30th, an arbitrary date that I snatched out of the air.

Someone called and said a resident was late for their appointment and no one had seen this person all morning. This is worse than arriving at work and the nurse you are relieving is writing notes in a chart and asks you "how many r's are there in diarrhea?" You just know it is going to be bad news real soon. So dutifully I sent a CNA to do a welfare check.. it seemed that quite sometime had passed and I had not heard from the aide so I thought all was probably okay. But then it happened the CNA returned and said the dreaded words "I think he's dead". Not sure why the CNA returned in person to tell me this but it was okay. I told him I would go back up and verify, I called the person who had called and told them he would not be making that appointment.

Then the fun begins, yes the resident has expired. What is worse for me it one that was not especially cooperative with me on things in the past. Liked to "stir" the pot so to speak. It dawns on me that this is the reason I was probably uneasy. That little voice that reminded me "you never made peace with this resident". You see he really needed more help but refused to admit it or accept it on the terms we offered. But when you're in healthcare there are rules and they must be obeyed to be reimbursed by insurances. 

In the end I feel he had his way, he did not leave his apartment willingly. We struggled to get him down to the floor where the mortician's gurney waited. Six flights down, 285 pounds of, pardon the pun "dead weight". Not only that it takes hours to get someone out of their apartment as you first must call the police, wait for the coroner, contact family wait for family to advise who to call next. And above all hope the no one in the chain of events is delayed or you could be all day with someone that you never made peace with.

So remember never take anger to bed....