Robin's Nest

 It is the beginning of week 44 and I have high hopes of getting SIL placed and the house getting into a new order. Again, these are high hopes. Not sure what will actually get done. I did get the laundry room sink cleaned out. This is nice to have but it seems to fill with odds and ends that don't have a home until you can no longer fit anything into the sink. Then it gets emptied only to start all over again. It is the end of the day, and everyone is just about settled down for the night. I have been able to do a couple loads of laundry, gone to town to pick up a kiddo and visited a couple of stores on the way. I was happy to find a gallon of heavy whipping cream for $20.19. When Costco has it, it is only a half-gallon, it is ultra-pasteurized, and roughly $12. To me this was a bargain! And it was not ultra-pasteurized. Double bonus in my book! Buying a gallon is not the best size for me but I can make it work and not waste any of it. Now some people may not find that an exciting...

 After not being able to walk into the laundry room yet again, for the stuff that gets "dropped" here, I decided it was time to clean it up a bit. I didn't get a whole lot done as I have a long list of items to accomplish. One item for sure is that I have to let the first-choice facility know that we are going a different direction in the future. It is now Sunday, and I am no more ready to move her than before. I know it must be done and that the less expensive place needs to be our choice financially, but I dread that it is 10 miles further away.  Back to the laundry room, it is still an overwhelming mess, and here it is Friday and almost the beginning of the 44th week in this year's countdown. You know that is harder to keep track of than I thought. The week has been super busy. We have company from Michigan here and the weather has been less than great. The wind is relentless on some days and the cold is just as bad. The change in people and dogs in the house has h...

 Here it is Friday, one week and one day from the day we toured and agreed on the apartment at Springs Ranch, and we are not much closer to move in than we were that day. This morning we are going to have a PPD read at Primary care. Since then, I have been contacted by a few more agencies that have offered lower prices and equal services. The ruling factor for Springs Ranch is that they have nurses and CNA's not QMaps and caregivers. That is not to say that perhaps they are not as good, but it has been my experience that in fact they are not as well trained. SIL and her idea of packing to leave In this state, you cannot really make a formal complaint against a QMap, they are not licensed. A caregiver is the same situation. All complaints would go against the nurse they work under. In theory this should be enough to keep people trained. It is not. I have decided though since we are going out anyway, we might look at another place just so she can see how much better the one we chose ...

 Things are changing around here. I have a full plate and then some every day. Wake up and smell the coffee I am told by one who has been absent for almost 10 years. You are too selfish to be the one. I trusted you to put her first and this is how you act?! There are many who know the truth! You are a felon!  You are a liar! You do not care! I am told these things and my heart breaks for the speaker. My advisor says remain quiet. I do as I am told. One day when I have a moment or three, I will print all the accusations and not have them front and center in my world. For now, I share them with the advisor. Somewhere in the middle of all that chaos life with SIL mixes in and the family returns from church. I cannot share what is going on with them at this time. I may not share it for years. Nonetheless it goes on. It is almost enough to make me want caller ID, almost. I do not have that luxury because well frankly I don't care to know who is calling. If I can and want to answer ...

 This has been a busy week so far. I looked at two more places for SIL, struggled with even placing her somewhere, and recruited my DIL to come stay with me for a month while I get everything in order. Having her here would help, I think anyway. DH disagrees, what's new? He is under the impression that you decide on placement, pick a place and move her in, done. I tried to explain that it does not happen that quickly and there are tons of forms to fill out and things that have to be done and doctors' orders to get. Most of all the POA must cooperate! Or be replaced. I am about ready to put DH out in the cold snow this morning! His sense of responsibility to his sister is not good.  "Good!! I hope she got cold" was his response. I don't get that for sure. Doesn't even seem to bother him. I cannot fathom treating anyone that way. Well, on with the day. SIL is up again for the day, I am sure.  The weirdest questions are being asked of me in relation to this event...

 Sometime before 0115 SIL made it out the sliding glass door. The door has never functioned correctly as far as shutting tight enough to lock and it wouldn't matter anyway, she can open almost any lock in her current state of mind. Yesterday while I babysat the youngest grandchild, she was very "antsy", I felt like something was brewing. There were moments of clarity for her, but not lucidity. This happens every time we go out of the house. The night progressed much as any other night, sundowners, minimal food eaten at dinner, panic over the pills being taken wrong, the usual things that happen each night. I put the dogs into the kennels and SIL into bed and went to get ready for bed myself. Once ready for bed I looked at DH and said I feel abandoned when you are here and yet you are not. He didn't understand. I didn't explain. After saying goodnight, I mentioned that I had a feeling that I would be awoken in a couple of hours. He said Well, you better get some sl...

I am so torn about putting SIL into a care center. Funding is not a huge issue. Guilt is. Some days I am so ready to go back to work and others like today when it starts at 0215, I am not. I visited a center yesterday that I have applied to several times. They had never even called to say no thank you, but I digress, curiosity got the best of me, and I called to get pricing. I was sitting in the driveway and there was a sign on the door that stated you must show proof of vaccination to enter, so I called hoping at best to get a price list. They invited me in. It was like fishing, hook line and sinker, they had a check for $3000.00 and I left with a job application. They stuck it into the welcome folder and promised they would consider me for a position when I was ready. They spoke to me the way I speak to SIL, with a soft voice and a sincere air of caring in their voice. So here is my dilemma. SIL should live to 80+, I am not sure how long her funding will last. I wish I could just be ...

 The big day arrived with SIL staying up ALL. NIGHT. LONG. I am truly exhausted and ready for an early night. That probably won't happen as the youngest just asked for a shower... someone get a calendar and mark the date down!!! Also, sundowners' is in full swing, and every task must be talked through in detail one step at a time. She just came from the brushing her teeth task and does not have her toothbrush case anymore. Hello trashcan? This is why she no longer gets sonic heads, six in one week, $49 plus tax. Nope, not happening again. Dollar tree has LOTS of toothbrushes with cases for a $1.25.  The day ended with me hiding all the pots and pans in the oven and going to bed. I was so exhausted from the all-nighter that I just couldn't stay up any longer. Especially since today is babysitting day and they should be here any minute. The stress of an assessment sent SIL to dementia land early and included an extra heavy dose of sundowners to go with it. You can add to that...

 Monday morning and so much to do! Price checking, laundry, showers, Oh my goodness! I'm tired already! There are still carpets to clean (dogs had multiple accidents last night) dogs to bathe, naps for a little and SIL, oh yes and meals prepare. Yep, I'm tired! As DH heads out the door he and the youngest fuss, nothing new there! ADHD meets ADHD head-on every time. The 30 seconds of quiet after they all leave is quickly interrupted by a barrage of questions from SIL. It was nice while it lasted. Much to my surprise, SIL went to her chair willingly and wanted to rest. Maybe this Monday will be different! Nope, baby just started screaming, things are normal. After both parties getting a morning nap and the dogs having yet another accident in the house, I gave both of them lunch, bathed one dog, sprayed the carpet and covered it with a towel. While I was changing the baby, SIL let the dogs outside into 43-degree weather, even the wet one, they lived, (life got busy, it is now Tues...

 It is Sunday and the week number 47 has begun. As breakfast orders were taken and I prepared Malto Meal for one, Grits for another. honey nut cheerios for SIL, eggs for a little and wait on the last one to decide what she wants, I feel I may have lost my calling as a short order cook. The kiddos are starting to sound as bad as me, so we stayed home from church today and we are participating online. Okay, I am participating. The sermon today is mentioning "your own mission fields". Boy, have I failed! Thankfully, each day is new and there is the chance to change my path. In person service is more uplifting for me but since that isn't a possibility this is the next best thing. I am tired, probably from this cold. I breathe easy will standing but lay down and all bets are off. I am slowly getting things in some kind of order around here. This morning before service I cleaned out the egg refrigerator. Yes, we a refrigerator devoted to eggs right now.  It hard to give away al...

 Yesterday, I took my daughter, and we investigated a memory care facility. Either I was genuinely impressed, or I am so ready for things to change. The facility was actually very nice! The staff seemed kind and caring, residents were happy and milling about freely. I can see her actually fitting in. Even perhaps liking it there. I am going to have to have help to get her things moved in. My biggest problem was this, I called DH to tell him I was impressed and that we would have to get things rolling for a March move in; he in all his quietness, did not leave the room where SIL was located as he talked to me. On arriving home, she began to question me about where she is going. I told her that she would have to go stay in a care center when it is needed. She backed away from me and clung to a wall, she was shaking and concerned that we were taking her back to the hospital that we got her from. I assured her I would never do that. So, the month begins, we wait for the title to the tr...

 Thursday in the middle of the day the youngest and I decided to go for a walk in the snow. We were dressed warm enough for the beautiful sunshine. I did not take into account the brightness of the snow and the sun together. Fresh snow Only tracks to be seen It was pretty to see! It has been so long since we actually had a good snow. This snow was not record breaking but nice just the same. She had been out playing in the snow before I joined her for a walk. We headed out the driveway and down the road. On the road there were more tire tracks Now there would be more people tracks!  A little further done the road we stopped for a minute or so to make a snow angel! She had a blast! We walked a little further  It felt good to get out and get some fresh air and watch the young one work off some of her energy. It is now Friday night and Sundowner's has set in. SIL does not want to eat anything that is available. I offered pork chops, but that is not something that she normally...

 Today I was cranky on my next wake up call. You see someone finally went to bed at 0600, so I went and got a blanket, pillow, turned off all the lights and shoved the dog off the couch in order to lay down and "guard" the exits. At 0610, DH came to the kitchen looking for his phone, turning lights on telling Kim to go back to bed. She was back up and ready to go.  It didn't work. She stood by the couch asking questions; I covered my head with a blanket and feigned sleep. The time had come for the morning routine to start. First the pill pass, feed the kiddo's and say you are welcome 6 times to SIL for giving her the pills, sending her to her room to put her binder away. Then she comes back and waits for her half a bowl of honey nut cheerios. She eats those and we talk for a few minutes. Then... The battle begins. Yes, she is asleep. I may be able to get her to her feet without help, I may not. Each day is different. Yesterday, she struggled with me, because I was the...

 The snow came down lightly but not for long. The total on the ground looks to be about 2.5 inches or so. There is more in town or so I hear. DH was assigned to babysit the grandkids yesterday. Surprisingly it went well he said. On his arrival home I had dinner ready, and I was not impressed with it while cooking. (New recipe) However, by the time it was served it was it was much better! Not sure I would ever make it again, but I was glad that it did turn out better than first appearances led me to believe. It was a long day with the everyone in the house being tired of being held hostage inside these walls. This was the less than impressive dinner. In the end it was not bad. Well, it is 0342 and the house has been on fire since 0215. Luckily, SIL had been up getting the important things out of her room and she is dressed and ready to go. I, however, am still in my pj's. It is -4 degrees outside. I am not going out into that kind of weather. I mean really, if it is that cold out th...