Robin's Nest

Now that I am "unemployed" I have to prioritize all the "stuff" that I left my job to be able to do. Trouble is there is so much to go through it is hard to know where to begin! Birth certificates need replacing, tax documents, military documents the list goes on and on. Overwhelming for sure. Then there is the day to day stuff that has to occur too. The pansies and petunias have dried out from lack of water... my fault. The potatoes still need prepping... my job. Every morning seems to turn to chaos about 0700. It usually revolves around getting ready for school, I don't want to go to school, the dog ate my homework and that list goes on too. If there were a pattern other than rebellion I could probably figure it out. I have tried having everything packed up the night before, having clothes laid out, all the normal "fix" your morning things. It's not just the kiddos either, it's me. My inner rebel has been quiet too long and is coming out in...

So this is what it feels like to be unemployed... exhausted and the list of things to get done is longer than when I was employed! The hardest part so far is learning to say "no" to doing favors for others when it negatively impacts my family. Especially when it seems like it wouldn't be a big deal to just do it.  Time management isn't always easy. Yes, I was just sitting at the computer while the kiddos were outside. Yes, I did answer the call from the requester. It seems when a request starts out with "I have a really strange but crazy favor I wanted to ask you. If you could do it..".  Then drags on about how weird the request or how huge the request is without saying what the request is. Generally it turns out it is something that I don't want to do. It usually comes with the emphasis on how much the requester would appreciate fulfillment of the deed. Almost veiled, in the idea that agreement to perform is sought out before the details are revealed....

Today I was a little on the high-strung side. It was difficult to stay away from my job... um I mean my former job. I know they were struggling. I received several calls and text messages, but my former partner received more than fifteen. She is not salary and isn't going to get paid for the calls. I am no longer employed by them so I won't get paid. He doesn't care. He is in crisis mode. Actually, he is trying to do all the things that I requested of him in the last two years. All of which he denied me stating they weren't required.  Apparently they have changed all the rules to what I said they were... hmm that makes me psychic! One more thing I can add to my resume! All the kiddos are finally asleep, so I may finish this up in the morning. Good Night... Morning came early, 0500 I had puppies licking my hand, scratching the bed and generally begging for company. So up I get to give them a little attention and let them out to potty. It is so much like Fall outside,...

It is finally here! Not sure how I feel about it but it is here! I still have hours of work to do at work but I will do it on my terms or through my proxy at least until the new nurse comes upstairs and takes over.  I feel a bit like a traitor but I also feel such relief at having time available to get on with my life. Especially the part of picking up the pieces from the fire and getting paperwork replaced. Well I went in to work as a visitor today. There were just so many more things to tidy up before I make the final break. Of course there was a fall while I was there and no nurse to resolve it. This is going to be interesting. At 1230 number 6 called and reminded me that I needed to gather the girls' things for a party at "Great Wolf Lodge". Just what I needed for a quick exit. That early exit allowed me to get two loads of laundry done, pick up the baby and get everything together for the kids to go to the lodge. The party is over and they are safely tucked into ...

Last night was a terrible night for sleeping. This is the first time in a very long time that I had a nightmare, I mean, a wake you up, your heart is pounding nightmare. No time to analyze it this morning. Still have to jump in the shower and get to work woo hoo! It's my last day! Sort of the new nurse apparently doesn't start for two weeks. Not sure how the big guy is going to handle nurse duties for that long. I can say "not my problem" but I can't do it. On a more concerning note I received a message that my cute little dogs are not what I thought they were! I think that contributed to my nightmare... I mean really they are so cute and so not poodle mixes. Lhasa Apso and Shih Tzu 50/50. Poodle was easier to spell  and to say. I guess that doesn't account for the lion in my nightmare. But it might. Well off to a very long day. Lots of ground to cover in getting things ready. Another going away party?! Wow quitting turned out to be so much fun! As I intro...

After a late night with the kiddos and a grandchild and all the noise that comes with three girls makes the morning seem incredibly quiet. In fact I was able to unload the dishwasher, fold the load of clothes in the dryer and pack their lunches without them waking up. Nice for the quiet but it might make getting dressed a drama party. Well I was nicely surprised by the cooperation of the kids in getting ready for school. And work was even more surprising! Busy as a bee all day. Then one of the maintenance guys came up and said "is it true today is your last day?".  I looked at my helper and we both realized that the call I had earlier stating I needed to be in the HR office at noon might indicate that I was about to be walked out. We both laughed and she said "Well they better realize that you are not leaving before six because there is too much for us to get done". The plan was this, if they walked me out she would throw my bag over the balcony to me. I had too...

It is the last Monday that I have to get up and go to this particular job and I overslept. Good thing my boss doesn't keep too many tabs on me. I'll be there by 0800 I suppose. Should go earlier as I have lots to do. Three days isn't much to get 39 care plans updated, and go through to make sure charts have what they need for state. Good thing he doesn't check his mailbox very often either. Otherwise he would have found my resignation letter 3 weeks ago, almost 4 now. It's all good.  I can feel the anxiety building in me knowing I am two days away from "unemployed". I did get some really good news! The grape-vine is saying that my replacement has been named and it is a nurse I absolutely adore! She will be an excellent leader! So for once I hope the grape-vine is right!!! It would make the transition so much better for the residents and the staff that remains. Dh wasn't answering his phone today so I left work to go get the kids from school and w...

1.  Do not feed kids in the neighborhood (they come back) 2.  Leaving your garage door open attracts kids 3.  Do not buy kool pops. They can smell them in your freezer 4.  Do not bake cookies. The whole neighborhood can smell them 5.  Do not buy candy. Not sure how they know but they do 6.  Do not bake bread when kids are present. They like it 7.  Do bake pull apart garlic bread! They can't stand the smell! 8.  Do try hard not to regret choices 9.  If you make the any of the above mistakes... Plead for mercy

If you are looking the answer to the title of this post then go to another blog. This writer is the most unorganized person in the world and chaos reigns every morning no matter the day! School days, even with public school, are the worst with Sunday being second place. Even Saturdays can be crazy unless we are doing what both girls want to do at the time they want to do it. Rare indeed! Both kiddos resist change. Even if it is only a change of position! Perhaps it is the only control they can muster. Flexibility is not always available in the schedule in the mornings. Frankly, I feel I am the only one working on the process most days. So I am the one that gets to be flexible (insert a very sad face here). For four days they have refused to sleep in their own rooms and have camped out on the couch, a blow-up bed and in my bed. It starts when I babysit overnight each week for a CNA's child. They don't want the baby in their room, or mine but a camp out is okay... then it con...

Morning came early but I pushed back and said I am sleeping in! Didn't do me a whole lotta good but I stayed in bed until 0605. So perhaps that is a win! The swamp cooler is leaking water down to the foundation and I am not sure why. So I am going to cut off the supply and hope no one else turns the cooler on or at least not the pump for a while. Today is really sunny and not too hot yet so pulling weeds might be fun... okay necessary is a better word. Doesn't illicit that warm fuzzy feeling though.  Have I ever mentioned that procrastination is a problem for me? It is so I mixed up a batch of pancake mix because we used almost all the last batch.  (That keeps me from doing other tasks that are less desirable). Think I'll make some gravy mix next. Or homemade Bisquick… hmm tough choice. Too much thinking required for this right now. I will make the salad for tonight and give it a rest. (Tortilla mix won over the other two!) The salad was pretty good. Can't say I...

  The next chapter of my life is about to begin! There are but a few days to complete my tasks and get things in order for the next "in charge" person. I am relieved and anxious at the same time. I do know I will miss my staff. They are incredibly awesome! Even the least of them is more than one could ask for! Emotions run high when the stress level is exceeded over and over but they hang in there and care like no one else does. Today I was in one of those escape rooms.... Okay I was really at work and trying hard to figure out how to get out of there! Thanks to a dear friend, I found my way out. Many have said I will feel the relief once I'm gone... heck I already feel relieved! I had to go get the kiddos and two residents needed to speak to me so after DH returned home at 1830 I headed back to the scene of the... I mean back to work. As I entered the building a CNA was taking a resident back to her apartment.  The resident had just fallen. So this might take long...

Why is quitting a job so difficult? It really shouldn't be. I have seen so many people just walk away from this building that I've lost track of the numbers. In my department alone it is greater than 50 in the years I've been here. Maybe it's the idea of having "nothing" to do. Perhaps it is just the idea of no income.. whatever it is I have such difficulty leaving jobs! Even the army was hard to say good bye to. It isn't that it is hard to come by another job that stands in my way. Most of my adult life I have had two jobs at a time. Paying jobs that is and kids to take care of. These last two kiddos require more time and attention or at least it seems that way. I went to bed last night secure in the decision I had made. This morning is only a little different, I have yet to get my spending impulsively under control.  To make matters worse, the canisters I like are on sale at Costco! Now, do I need those canisters? Probably not. Do I want them? Sort ...

Sunday evening number 6 and I went to a memorial service for one of our residents. The service was beautiful and energetic. We both were a b it nervous as we really didn't know anyone and perhaps the family would be offended that we attended. Thankfully they were not. Tears flowed throughout the room and someone had kindly placed tissues within easy reach.  We sat behind the worship team, unknowingly, and that was perhaps the best seat to be able to see everyone. We learned a lot about a woman that we thought we knew. Her daughter had her hands full caring for her momma. That woman had the energy of a two year-old, the impulsiveness of a five year-old and the mindset of a teenager. But beneath all that chaos she had a heart for her family. The circumstances surrounding her death will never be clear and maybe that is for the best. Her grandchildren didn't, couldn't have understood why memaw was gone. If I could travel to her burial ceremony I would, but I can't. I...

Confrontation doesn't come easy to this writer... ever! But even more so if someone is going to get hurt. Really, who likes to hurt anyone? I remember going to MEPS in Memphis and the doctor on duty was someone whom I had worked with in the community. He asked me why I was going to go back to active duty... I replied that I wanted too. Simple as that. He then asked if anyone had ever told me there was anything wrong with my heart. I mentioned that it had been broke a time or two but nothing more than that and he passed me. I bring this up because the army is where I had to learn to deal with confrontation, it wouldn't go away if I didn't. Over the years I got better at it. In the last two weeks though, it would be hard to tell. I couldn't confront the aggressor. Although in hindsight I really didn't know what the situation was. The less you tell people the less they know. When the witnesses die where is the evidence? Is there an offense if there is no evidence? ...

Really it is good to be home even if it takes three days to unload the car, another two to find all the wet swim suits and ten more to get used to being back to work. We made it back by 2330 and that to me was a record for that many miles. But yay I got to drive!!! Well at least part of the way :) Once back in the driver's seat at work I realized...I'm done. Yes I love the residents and most of the families are terrific. But I'm done. I poured my heart into this place one little old person at a time but since the take over it is different. It consumes my life, my time and I have no control on what it needs from me. It's not nursing anymore and I am leaving it. I know most of my co-workers and some of my closest friends have heard me say this for a very long time. This week I have to end it. To be honest I did not even want to return to work. I didn't even want to leave Montana. Although the latter may have been just because the motel had maid service. When ...

It's early in Montana and just like home I am up before the rest. The quietness of the motel room is a little refreshing but it will only last a few moments. The littles got a souvenir last night... okay the littles went to Walmart and got a new toy that they couldn't possibly have found back home. But to them it's a souvenir. I wonder if in 2 years they will remember that they got it here? No matter they are ecstatic about it! They played, together no les s, until almost midnight. Perhaps they will sleep till 0600... or at least until I can get showered and dressed.  I tried several swim suits last night in an attempt to find one that didn't enhance the wrong areas. So we will go to the pool today. But first breakfast at Kim's for the rest of the gang. I ate at the motel and washed the laundry up for the trip home. Once they are all up we can leave. It's pretty here. I would consider moving here if I were younger. We finally headed to Kim's a...

Day two of the trip we made it to the motel late in the evening. Unloading the vehicle took minutes and the kids were out like little lights. Number one granddaughter and I shared more memories and managed to fall asleep before 1am in the morning. Without much of a plan for the day we went with the whatever the rest of the relatives wanted to do. So much for visiting the sick first thing! There is an ice cream shop called "The Great Northern Carousel". After a trip to the cemetery and a picnic in the park we headed over for ice cream and a ride on the carousel. We returned to the motel room and fed the kids the long awaited "happy meal". Nine hundred miles on the road and the most anticipated thing for the littles was a trip to the golden arches! I have failed miserably as a parent this go around LOL! Dinner had been planned to be at the relatives home but it got to be quite late and the littles melt down between 7pm and 9pm without food or sleep....

Sometimes illness can be a blessing. Weird I suppose, but it can give you time to visit with friends and family, explore old neighborhoods and generally reflect on life. Reflecting on the choices that have shaped our present and past adjusting for the future as needed. Wondering what would have been can consume all of your time if you let it. So push those wonderings to the cobwebs of your mind and get on with living. Having tried to do just that “push the what if’s “ aside, I have no idea what is next in life for us. We are waiting for the basement to be done and wondering if maybe we should stay in the city or move to another place, town or state for that matter. I just don’t think I want to move where bugs out number people lol! Or where the snow lasts longer than the summer lasts! I don’t “love” the house we are in nor the one we are getting. But they are both adequate for our current needs. Too big is ridiculous to clean and too small is crazy to organize! It seems that when...