New Year's Eve
New Year's Eve came and went with no fanfare in this house. Sundowners started to rear its' ugly head and things were precarious from 4pm on. I sent DH to the commissary for a couple of last-minute items just in case the kiddos were in a festive mood. SIL started fretting about pills at 6 pm. Who would be giving them, when would they give them, and why would whoever be giving them? It wasn't that she did not know the answers to these questions she sometimes just has to ask them.
As the day went on and we watched the news she became anxious about the fires in our state. We had had a good two or so days. The change in demeanor is expected. As we look for movies to watch the sundowner characteristics become more evident. Each movie is "shot down" for its perceived inappropriateness. We settled on the "Andy Griffith" show, which by the way was also ruled bad. I am not sure there was anything on the programming that could have passed muster. I settled in for what I thought would be a long night. She sat at the table and waited for bedtime pills; it was 6:15.
Finally, it was 7:48, DH was home and that is her preference for a pill giver, he is not punctual. His memory issues interfere with timing. He himself has started to forget his pills on a daily basis. He has taken pretty much the same pills for the last 20 years. There have been a few changes here and there and times when he only got them if I gave them. Nonetheless, he is her preference as a pill giver. I am super okay with that. He remembers her meds.
As I type this SIL got up to go to do something and that triggered the "watch dog". Bella the 2-year-old pointer lab mix went on the defense and the whole house is now awake at 0420 New Year's Day. My mom used to tell me whatever you are doing on the first day of the month is what you will be doing the majority of the month, every. day. So, I guess I will be starting my day with SIL at 0215 the rest of the month and 04ish for the rest of the family. It sure seems quite similar to the last three months. I digress, the whole purpose of this post is to publish my plans for the new year and reflect on last year's plans.
This past year was our first full year in this new house. I am so good at clutter it appears that we have been here much, much longer. My escape from reality this past week has been sewing little projects. That gave me permission to take over the living room with sewing materials. I did not accomplish near what I had wanted to do. Last year we were still homeschooling at this time and if I got the kids into regular school I was to return to work full-time. If you count babysitting for the youngest grandchild work, then I made that goal. I could really call it a "non-profit" I am sure.
As I read some previous posts, I was happy to see that I didn't set any "lofty" goals for myself! Unless you count keeping the kitchen counters cleared of "stuff". For me that was lofty enough! So, perhaps that should be it for this year too. It is clearly a renewable goal. Every day I struggle to get it cleared in time for the next meal.
Yesterday, at shower time for SIL she voiced a desire to check out some assisted living facilities. So, we will do that next week. I will start with the facility that I quit from and that should deter her. I don't think I would feel safe having her in that facility, mainly because it isn't a locked facility, and she could wander out of the doors. Maybe she wouldn't since it would be an apartment. I contacted the marketing manager that was there when I was there. All they see is cash and she can afford the rent. They wouldn't see her admission as a problem. Part of me says "give her a chance" and the other part of me says "don't".
She has yet to adjust to the change of living here and like most with PD, she does not acknowledge any deficits or changes that have occurred with the progression of the disease process. There is very poor safety awareness. For her there is just a desire to still be on her own. The apartment that is open to rent is a medium size, she would have an actual bedroom and a real kitchen. It also has its own bathroom with a shower and dining nook and living room. The stoves are all disconnected but the refrigerators are full size, and it would possibly promote independence.
I worry that because she is my relative, they will neglect her. I am hoping she sees it as too much of a challenge. Better yet I hope she likes the fancy place much better; it is locked and a dedicated memory care.
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