Happy Friday! It is the end of the first week of the new year. What have I done? I have not made any resolutions per se. I did apply at several agencies for work. After not hearing anything back from a few of them I thought I would take a peek at the resume that I had attached. To my surprise the item was nothing more than a template that is available in MSOffice, and it sports a picture of a young black male, professional looking enough, but it clearly not me. Could this be why I have not heard from some of my choice places to work? Yep! That is okay one former employer was brave enough to call me. We had a good laugh over my lack of computer skills.
This morning I made a list of to-dos and decided that I would work past my diversions, human or not, to get them done each day. Perhaps you could call that a resolution. Each day I do set out to get things done and I am constantly diverted by one thing or another or a human or two. Or a fall. Pretty much anything can happen and that distracts me enough to get me off course. In fact, as I type SIL is leaning on the table and falling asleep. That is distracting as she will fall if I do not stop typing and resolve the situation.
I rest my case it is now the 8th of January, and I did not get to finish yesterday's post. Oh well, time waits for no one.
What little snow arrived this week has melted
Yesterday, I managed to get caught up in everyone else's drama. That is next on my list to change this year. I can listen, I can empathize, but I need not be involved. It is not that I don't care. I may care too much and that takes away from time for my own household. I'll give a small example. A few days ago, I spoke with my mother, she sounded as if she were fighting back tears when I asked her why she couldn't travel to see her 101-year-old aunt. It took me by surprise when she said, "I don't want to discuss it with you". I admit it felt a bit like a slap in the face.
This should come as no surprise to me, but it did. She and my sister are planning to transport our aunt to Michigan. It seems my sister has "business" to take care of in Michigan and she needs to go there to do it. She has been in California for just over a year doing caregiving for this aunt. She went home last March to take care of some things and returned with covid. She was then flown to my house to recover in order to protect our aunt. The kicker is that, well until yesterday, I did not know as far as they were concerned.
That is all beside the point, since my sister felt comfortable enough to finally tell the plans herself, I felt comfortable enough to say that now I understood why our mom sounded like she was crying and didn't want to "discuss" things with me. I suggested wouldn't it be easier for her to go to California to visit with the aunt instead of the other way around, unless of course her health is so poor that she can't? She went on the defense and stated if mother did not want to discuss it with me then she didn't feel she should either. Again, I took offense. Why? I shouldn't, this is how my relationship with these two has been for as long as I can remember.
The two of them deciding what is best for me to know, do and/or say. that is in fact, what pushed me to join the army when I did. The best choice that I ever followed through with. They, mostly my mom, are why I didn't marry my high school sweetheart. Once I broke free of their "grip" I was stupid and allowed too much involvement in my life. That is pretty typical of an insecure person. You grow up looking for validation, mostly in the wrong places. That was in the past, and I intend to put it back in the past and leave it there.
Now, on with the present. My cousin is struggling with letting our aunt travel as she is the POA, and she is paying my sister to care for her. It started out at $5200.00 per month, but out of the kindness of her heart, my sister is now only taking $4000.00 a month as the funds are dwindling. I am not opposed to her being paid, but I think it is a bit steep since all her needs are covered also. I digress, the risk of illness or death related to a blood clot are the only concerns I or my cousin have. All in all, when you look at it, she is 101 with dementia that presents itself when she is in an unfamiliar place. She has never been to my mother's house.
It makes sense in a number's way that the younger of the two elders makes the trip. It seems however, that it may be more of a "health" issue. That would make sense as our mother has had to have a colostomy and then a reversal all because she did not trust anyone to take care of Chloe. Chloe has parents, but she mainly lives with our family. Long story short my mom is afraid of losing Chloe to someone else, anyone else. So, she is willing to risk her own health to keep her grip on another generation. Not my job to change it. If all that is said about the family is true, then she probably is better off where she is.
Well, that is my rant for today. I have doughnut dough rising and I intend to make those this morning, not tonight. I close for now because it, to steal a phrase from Dunkin' Donuts, "time to make the donuts".
Comments
Post a Comment