Introverts need quiet time to recharge
When I was young I was very much an introvert. In some ways I still am. Over the years I tried to be an extrovert and to a degree, succeeded. When it comes to how I "recharge" at the end of a day, I am an introvert.
I really need that quiet "alone" time. Leaving the workforce has shown me that although I have ability to be an extrovert, deep down it is just an act. If given a choice to join a crowd or sit quietly at home, I'll chose the latter.
Even when I feel lonely, I'm quite okay with being alone in that. It gives me time to think, pray and just recharge. There really isn't other word or substitute for it. If that time isn't obtained I cannot be at my best or be what others may need.
Lately, there is no alone time. I know there won't be for a long time. I will have littles, who really aren't anywhere near little any more, needing whatever time or hugs or attention I can muster. I pray for patience when mine wears thin, wisdom to bite my tongue when patience eludes me and grace to accept help from others when it is offered.
Most of all I pray for grace to forgive myself when I fail... and I Fail. Every. Day! Already today I have been short-tempered with a grandchild and #10 at least 6 times apiece! I did not get my "alone" time last night as the grandchild was afraid to stay in any room that I was not in. I thought she might fall asleep on the couch while I finished laundry and tried to blog a bit. She didn't.
It was midnight before I finished the things that needed to be finished for this morning. Okay, I could have moved faster but I was trying desperately to get that alone time that I have not had since Wednesday. The morning came early, 0330 early, did the kiddos sleep in? Nope. In their defense I did let them stay up and do crafts until 10pm. At that time #10 did crash in her bed leaving poor grandchild to worry about being alone.
The dogs get up between 0200 and 0430 every morning unless they are kenneled at night. I do realize I should do that but I don't do it unless I have company that they just can't seem to like. Lucky for them I don't have that very often. So when they needed out, kiddos needed up!
This week I have had some company and one night my daughter had to spend the night as I was called to go right back to the hospital after having just left. That meant she had to bring her dog to my house or I had to find dog sitters for all the dogs and kid sitters. She and I decided it would be easier on the kids to be here rather than someone else's home.
It was easier on me too. The dogs got kenneled because although they like my daughter and her kids, the dog is a different story. At least he was, after spending a lot of time together they are now tolerant of each other. Personal space is somewhat respected. (Now to get that grandchild onboard with it.)
I am glad because my daughter has to be the second bottle of glue that holds this group together! On that note, I think if you have to be glue.... it should at least be glitter glue!
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